Dat dere is one classy dame.
To understand the Festival, you have to attend. To understand the Slivovitz Royalty, you have to have a big sister. Really.
We never expected to have a Slivovitz Queen, and at first we didn't. Then my big sister Lisa told me that she was going to be the Slivovitz Queen, and would I buy her a tiara and sash. 40 years of little brother instinct kicked in as I realized that she was really saying that she would be the Queen, and that I would buy her a tiera and sash, and that I was really answering the question, "Do I want to live long enough to see another Festival." Put that way, of course we're having a Queen!
So we have Royalty. We freely admit that those first Festivals were rigged. My Sister Lisa became Queen Lisa. My daughter Maggie became Plum Princess Margaret. A granddaughter became Plum PipSqueak Ana, the First. My mom became the Slivovitz Empress Margaret.
We even rode in the Minnesota State Fair Parade, graciously waving to crowds of people wondering who we were, and how to pronounce slivovitz.
Then we added a Miss Slivovitz. She's a really cute model named Amanda Scheer who we met at the Minnesota State Fair. She's been our Miss Slivovitz for a couple of years now, and one of these days she is going to show up at a Festival.
Then we had another Festival, and selected some new Royalty in an open and honest contest. A new Queen, who won her crown in an ax battle with Queen Lisa. (we're serious about the ax. The Deputy Mayor of Lacko, Poland presented a solid silver ceremonial Polish Walking Ax to Queen Lisa just moments before Queen Elizabeth was crowned, and Queen Lisa was reluctant to give it up.) A new Plum Princess, (who must be the child of a Slivovitz Judge) Plum Princess Adrian. The Same Plum PipSqueak, since Ana's little sister Grace hasn't realized that it's her turn yet.
So, we freely admit that the contest was fixed in 2005, but we promised that the contest would be fair and honest in 2006. It wasn't. Permit us to introduce Queen Pam.
Here's the rules:
1. The Queen shall be a maiden pure, able to handle an ax, and of good character. She is selected by the previous Queens. (This allows them to graciously accept gifts while considering their decision.) In the likely event that we can't find an ax swinging maiden pure, then whatever. The Queen is absolute ruler of the Festival, deferring of course to the Empress, (my mom) Slivovitz Empress Margaret Lubina Radosevich.
2. The Plum Princess wins a full, four year college scholarship to the college of her choice.
3. Plum Princess is chosen by crowd acclaim, during the Festival. The selection criteria are cuteness, and poise. Good grades, and or bribing the Judges also works.
4. There may or may not be a Plum King, or a Plum Prince. We're open to suggestions, as long as it doesn't involve much effort. we do encourage the Green Bay pack to handle this one. Don't forget a crown.
5. The Slivovitz Sweetheart is elected by secret ballot. To prevent cheating, each ballot must be printed on special paper and bear an individual serial number approved by the US Bureau of Engraving and Printing. In the event of a temporary shortage of ballots, ordinary $1 bills may be substituted. Please note that a $5 bill would count as 6 separate votes cast by environmentally minded voters enthusaistically saving trees.
2012 Notes: 2012 Notes here