As long as we get a cut
Imagine a world where the Slivovitz Festival is held in the middle of nowhere, with 50 different brands of Slivovitz to try (if you bribe the Judges to let you sample from the Official Library).
Imagine that you've got one of those bosses who think that their need for your presence is greater than your need for theirs, and your need for Slivovitz. (NOTE: This does not apply to the crew from Green Bay, since everyone in Green Bay understands just how important Slivovitz really is, or doesn't really give a damn about their jobs as long as the Packers can beat the Vikings, and they can get hold of some Slivovitz occasionally)
Now imagine that you've somehow become a responsible adult, with a spouse and children and mortgage and some credit cards and a desire to eventually retire so you can devote your life to Slivovitz the way that the ISTA Slivovitz Judges do.
You know you belong at the Festival, but you just can't make it this year. We understand. So...
A Satellite Festival is a smaller version of the Slivovitz Festival, held by local slivophiles who can't make it to Northern Minnesota in September! Satellites usually only offer one or two brands of Slivovitz, but the warm feeling is the same, and they usually call me in the middle of the Festival to mumble about Slivovitz.
All you have to do is pick a date, (we suggest the first Saturday after Labor Day) send us an email and a photo of yourself wearing a Slivovitz Shirt (see the online store), and promise to send us some money if you make a lot of it. Photos after the event are always appreciated.
(oh, and our legal department reminded me that Slivovitz Festival, A Celebration of Plum Brandy, and Having Fun while taking Slivovitz seriously, are all trademarks, so use that little tm symbol, and link to our site if you create a webpage)